Looking Forward

I'll be graduating soon and the right time has come.

I've tried so hard to resist having a boyfriend. Not because I needed to or my parents asked me to. I resist because I wanted to. So you see, for seven years I have been admiring the same boy. His smile, his eyes, his voice. Just everything about him is enough to make me fall over and over again. I refrained from having a boyfriend for so many years because he helped me create standards for my future partner. I wouldn't lower these standards just because I wanted to replace him or any other shallow reasons. I set these standards because I know my worth. I know That after all these years of waiting, I deserve someone who will love me regardless of the many flaws that I have. A perfect one does not exist, I know that. But hey, a real man does.

He may not be Superman, he does not have all these superpowers. But I know he'd make me smile. If not every second but everyday. This man will keep me company, we might have differences but he's gonna do all his best to work things out. He will open up my heart and help me get ready for a fall. He's gonna catch me so I know it would hurt less. There will be misunderstandings but he won't let a day pass by without making it up to me. He's gonna love me properly, today and forever.

And he's gonna wait for the two words he is longing to hear from me. That day when we are infront of love ones and our King. That day I'd say those two words. The day I would say "I Do".

Ang Pagbabalik

Hello! Namiss niyo ba ako?

Namiss ko ang hardcore blogging, namiss ko ang blogspot. Dito kasi walang paimpress, ilalabas mo lang talaga yung totoo mong nararamdaman. Dito wala na yung meet-up, hindi naman new friends ang habol, new followers naman talaga. Dito, eto yung totoong ako.

HAHAHA. Wala naman akong pinapatamaan eh. Wala naman talaga.
Naiinis lang ako, araw-araw ganun. Ganito. Ganyan. Minsan gusto mo magwala at sabihing:"fuck, care ko?" May tatlong klase ng blogger, yung inlove, yung sawi, at yung paimpress. Base lang sa observation ko. Hindi naman kasi ako nang-aaway. Opinyon ko lang to.

Pero siyempre peyborit ko yung mga fashion bloggers, at least may natututunan ako. Hihi.

Yun lang muna, bow.

Kaya ko pa ba?

Ang tagal ko nang nagbblog pero ni-minsan hindi pa ko nakapagshare tungkol sa araw-araw ko. Lagi nalang ba akong galit pag nagbblog ako? Hindi. Puno lang talaga ako ng emosyon katulad ngayon. Araw araw pinipilit kong maging isang tao na mamahalin ng lahat, hindi ko alam kung bakit pero yun ang gusto ko. Gusto ko maging special sana pero araw-araw nabibigo ako.

Tinatanong nila akong lahat kung bakit malapit ang loob ko sa mga hayop. Ngayon sasagutin ko: Kasi pakiramdam ko, sila lang yung marunong makinig. Kung minsan nga nakikita nila akong umiiyak lalambingin lang nila ako. Yun yung rason kung bakit gustong gusto ko sila. Mahal na mahal ko sila, para ko silang mga munting kaibigan. Naiinis kasi ako lalo na kapag nararamdaman ko na may "favorite" na hindi naman dapat. Noong bata nga ako kahit wala ako sa bahay hindi ako hinahanap eh. Lagi nilang sinasabi (at talagang pinapamukha pa sa amin) na mas mabait si ganito, mas matalino, mas maaasahan. Kung minsan gusto ko nalang isigaw na AKO NA WALANG KWENTA eh. Alam mo yung pakiramdam na gusto mo nalang tumakbo at wag nalang bumalik? Araw-araw nalang may ginagawa sila na nasasaktan ako. Kapag nandito ako pakiramdam ko lagi may kulang sa pagkatao ko. Habang ginagawa ko tong blog na to hindi ko maiwasan ang hindi malungkot. Lagi nalang kasi akong naeechepwera. Kanina pag pasok ko ng kwarto wala yung kumot at unan ko, mababaw pero naramdaman kong wala akong lugar doon. Buti nalang pinayagan muna ako dito sa kwartong iniwan ng tita ko. Lagi kong sinasabi sa sarili ko, pati narin sa mga magulang ko na BALANG ARAW AALIS AKO. Pag nag-iisa ako lagi kong kinakausap yung mga yumao ko nang mga lolo, lagi ko nang sinasabi na "ngayon nakikita niyo kung ano yung pakiramdam ko" paulit-ulit, walang humpay. Umaasa akong naririnig nila ako. Alam ko naririnig nila ako, at alam nila na nasasaktan ako. Balang araw lilipad ako. Hindi ko alam kung tama ba yung kasabihan na tungkol sa hindi paglingon sa pinanggalingan, pero kung minsan ayoko na talagang balikan. Lalo na siguro pag nakaalis na ko. Masiyado nang malalim ang sugat para sugatan ko pa ulit. Sana lang wala ng hahadlang sakin, kahit pag-ibig. Hindi na, lilipad ako. PANGAKO.

DO YOU REMEMBER?

Let's Play TEN.

While waiting for the school system to fix it's own problems (yeah, we're to enroll via internet but since thousands are trying to get into the server, first come first served). So here are ten things about me that you ought to know. :)

1. I hate waiting for anything slow. I mean, I hate waiting for people who walks too slow. I hate waiting for the film to buffer on YouTube. I hate waiting in between commercials. I just hate waiting.
2. I am a frustrated ballet dancer. I've been wanting to try it out since preschool but yeah, my guts wont allow me to do that.
3. I am a sucker to anything spicy. I love spicy foods.. because... I JUST LOVE IT.
4. I wear a lot of heels when I was a kid. But now, I've changed into sneaks. It's way cooler and sometimes... HOTTER.
5. Back in the 90's I used to save my allowance to buy myself a new cassette tape of Britney Spears and M2M.
6. I will love Lucky Me Pancit Canton Hot and Spicy for the rest of my life!
7. I walk around the house in full make up whenever I do self-portraits and the family just got used to it.
8. I have an awful lot of celebrity crushes.
9. I BLEED GREEN. 'Cause I am a LaSallista by heart, mind, and soul. Please do not question that. I'm going to La Salle soon. WHATEVER HATERS. :)) HAHA
10. I want to be a doctor. Like an expert on Cancer or something? Not a psychologist. I took it because they told me I can use it in the future. Whatever. :))

FML. Registration is not yet open and I am too sleepy to function. AAAAHA. Cant wait anymore. Goodnight bitches. :)

BV-fied.

Minsan nakakasabog din talaga yung mga ginagawa ng ibang tao. Puro yawyaw, puro dada, puro salita. Papansin. Nakakainis. Wala lang, mabait ako sa mabait pero sana lang hindi inaabuso. Eh lalo na ako, pag napikon. Hanggang sa kaya ko eh tatarantaduhin talaga kita.

Ayoko lang kasi sa lahat yung ginagago ako. AT HIGIT SA LAHAT YUNG PINAPANGUNAHAN AKO. Sino ka para gawin yun? Like hello, I just met you! Pinapaikot mo lahat ng tao na nagtatanong tungkol sakin, para bang pinipigilan mo yung kaligayahan ko. AT TAKE NOTE: PROUD KA PA SA PINAGSASABI MO. Umayos ka ha. Hindi ko yun palalampasin. I know this happened weeks ago pero everytime na naaalala ko yun, it makes me hate you more. You're so papansin and gusto mo lagi kang kasali sa kwento. Why can't you just leave me alone? You are so annoying! Isn't it obvious that I don't trust you anymore? Now I understand why they're saying such things about you, but still PARE-PAREHO lang kayo eh. You want to get attention from somebody who's obviously just being nice to all of us because they have to! Why can't you guys move on like the way I did? It's so pathetic. AND YOU ARE SO ANNOYING. What do you want from me? Maybe you're just getting sick of all the jeje-ness around you. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. I hate to say this, I used to like you. I thought we clicked but then you pissed me off. YOU ARE JUST LIKE THEM. Nakakainis na kaya yung sa isang tao umiikot yung topic ++ isisingit mo pa yung self mo. Like ang great na ng usapan and then you'd be like "ayyy kami nga" ooog fuck you forever. I just can't take it anymore. Just leave me alone. Okay? AND KINDLY SHUT YOUR MOUTH CAUSE I CAN NO LONGER HANDLE THE SHIT THAT COMES OUT FROM IT. BYE. ,,|,, that is for you.

BEACH BABE.

Shawl - Bought from Saudi
Purple Dress worn as Tank top - Local Bazaar
Shorts - Guess
Beaded Bracelets - bought along the beach