I feel so happy and blessed today. I don't know why but this time I find it really hard to ellaborate the things that had happened today. But I do have this question in mind, what if the things that happened today changes everything? How am I going to deal with it.
On the (-) part of my brain and the lonely part of my heart, I'm thinking of random crazy things. "What if he never talked to me again?", "what if people started speculating?", "what if others started talking shit about me?". These random thoughts makes me feel sad. Really. But yeah, there's a huge possibility that these things are going on now. I know, I'm human. I'm not numb. Been there, done that. But one thing I hate about myself is that, I never learned. I keep on hurting myself more and more. I keep on denying things, I keep on hoping and hanging on. What is wrong with me? Seriously.
But still, there are (+) thoughts that are battling against my random (-) vibes. "What if he realizes, ohwow she's sweet" "wow, I kinda like her already" "I dint know that she's actually nice" "I wanna get to know her" but yeah, being a pessimist, I find these thoughts really impossible. Y'know. Errrrrrrr.
Oh God, please do help me. I don't know what to feel anymore. :(
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