Signs and Confusion

It's freakin half an hour after two am and I can't sleep. Random things are running through my head and I can't explain why. I know for a fact that this is not a good sign, I don't need anything right now. I'm happy, I'm contented. I'm not looking for anything.

Just when I've started liking someone again after two freakin years of controlling myself, I've decided to just let it go. I don't know, I'm not ready yet I guess. I told myself that this is not the right time and the right place. I couldn't like someone just because this "new guy" resembles the old one. I know, its not cool. It's like, you're still stuck at the same station while waiting for the next train. It's been years and months and days but why is it that I couldn't seem to let it go. I like this "new guy" so much because of the "old guy" ughhh, this is not good!!!!! ;((

So I tried to avoid and ignore him at skool, the problem is, he's always there. I always see him around and I can't stop liking him more and more each time I see him. I should stop myselffff. This can't be happening to me, I'm not really in the condition to like someone now. Someone who's not even interested. I mean, truth hurts! I know he likes someone else, but why can't I just stop? For once, can something good happen? At least today? Seriously, I need something to look forward to, I know but not something that sooner or later, I know it'd break my heart again. :c

And just earlier today, I gave it one last try.

I prayed before I texted him. The prayer goes like this:
"God I know you only have 3 answers to requests like this: YES, NO, and WAIT. This will be the last try."

If he replied immediately, the answer is YES.
If it took him time to reply, God said you WAIT.
And if he doesn't reply, God gave NO as an answer.

Guess what, just a few seconds after I sent the message, he replied. I was like: "ajahxuwk, You serious? :) thank yooooou Lord." But then again, being the ever pessimist, the sign made me confused.

What if's are starting to bitch me off again.
"What if this is just some coincidence?"
"What if signs aren't really true?"
"What if?"..........

I don't know what/who to believe. I don't even believe in myself anymore. I've been burned and hurt too much that LOVE sounded like a trip to the dentist for me and it makes me scared as hell. I took the risk several times, but I ended up losing more than I should gain. This couldn't be happening again. I should stop, as early as now.

Now I'm jumping, and I have the choice whether to fly or to fall. Flying wouldn't hurt, but still I have the chance to fall and get hurt. I don't know!!!! Am I making any sense??? Cause this don't. :c

Please, please.
Nothing serious now. Just plain admiration.
I like you, I like you so much. ;))

11:11 <3 wo xi huan ni orenjii